What is Toxic Positivity?
We define toxic positivity as the exorbitant and ineffective overgeneralization of a hopeful and happy state of mind across all circumstances. The course of toxic positivity brings about the forswearing, minimization, and nullification of the genuine human emotional experience.
Same as anything is done in surplus when positivity is utilized to conceal or silence the human experience, it becomes toxic. By forbidding the existence of specific sentiments, we fall into a condition of refusal and curbed emotions. People are flawed. We get jealous, furious, angry, and insatiable. Now and then life can only level out suck. By imagining that we are “positive the entire day,” we keep the legitimacy from getting an authentic human experience.
Forms of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity can take a wide range of structures. A few types you might have experienced in your own life:
When something awful occurs, for example, losing your employment, individuals tell you to “simply stay positive” or “look on the brilliant side.” While such remarks are frequently intended to be thoughtful, they can likewise be a method of closing down whatever you should say regarding what you are encountering.
After encountering some sort of misfortune, individuals let you know that “everything occurs for an explanation.” People generally say such expressions since they believe they are consoling, however, it is a method of keeping away from another person’s pain.
At the point when you express dissatisfaction or misery, somebody lets you know that “happiness is a decision.” This says that assuming you are having negative feelings, then, it’s your problem for not “deciding” to be happy.
Such articulations are frequently well-natured—individuals simply don’t have an idea of what to say and don’t have a clue on how to be sympathetic. All things considered, it is essential to perceive that these responses can be unsafe.
At their best, such statements appear to be worn-out sayings that let you free so you don’t need to interfere with other people’s sentiments. Even from a pessimistic standpoint, these remarks keep on embarrassing and criticizing people who are regularly managing very difficult situations.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
The following are some typical expressions and statements of toxic positivity to assist you with knowing how it appears in our day-to-day lives.
Shying away/Masking your true sentiments.
Attempting to “simply move ahead” by stuffing/letting go of emotion(s).
Feeling guilty for feeling what you feel.
Limiting others’ experiences with “feel better” sayings or quotes.
Attempting to give somebody’s point of view (e.g., “it could have been very regrettable”) rather than approving their passionate experience.
Disgracing or chastening others for communicating dissatisfaction or something apart from positivity.
Getting over things that are irritating you with a “What will be will be”.
Why it’s Harmful
Toxic positivity can hurt individuals who are going through difficult moments. Rather than having the option to share authentic human feelings and gain genuine help, individuals see their feelings ignored, overlooked, or altogether refuted.
It’s disgracing: When somebody is enduring, they need to realize that their feelings are substantial, however, that, they can find relief in loved ones, in friends, and family. Harmful inspiration lets individuals know that the feelings they believe are inadmissible.
It causes culpability: It communicates something specific that assuming you’re not figuring out how to feel good, even in the face of misfortune, you are doing something wrong.
It avoids credible human feelings: Toxic positivity capacities as an aversion component. At the point when others participate in this sort of conduct, it permits them to avoid passionate circumstances that may cause them to feel awkward. Yet, now and again we direct these same thoughts back toward ourselves, internalizing these toxic thoughts. At the point when we feel difficult feelings, we then turn them down and deny them.
It prevents development: It permits us to try not to feel things that may be difficult; however, it likewise denies us the capacity to confront testing sentiments that can at last prompt development and more profound understanding.
The “positive vibes only” mantra can be especially grinding during seasons of exceptional distress. At the point when individuals are adapting to circumstances like monetary difficulties, employment misfortune, sickness, or the passing of a friend or family member, being informed that they need to look on the brilliant side can appear to be tremendously cruel.
It is feasible to be hopeful, notwithstanding challenging encounters and difficulties. In any case, individuals going through trauma don’t need to be told to remain good or feel that they are being judged for not keeping a radiant outlook.
How to avoid toxic positivity
A few procedures for keeping away from self-inflicted toxic positivity include:
Perceiving negative feelings as typical and a significant piece of the human experience.
Recognizing and naming feelings rather than attempting to keep away from them.
Consulting with trusted individuals about feelings, including negative sentiments.
Looking for help from nonjudgmental individuals, like confining in companions or a specialist.
An individual can try not to force harmful inspiration on others by:
Empowering individuals to talk transparently about their feelings.
Becoming more familiar with negative feelings.
Trying not to have a positive response to everything that an individual says.
Perceiving that extreme negative feelings frequently correspond with incredible positive feelings, for example, when profound sadness signals extraordinary love.
On the off chance that you’re being affected by toxic positivity, we urge you to define boundaries with those who condemn your real feelings and talk your truth. We get only one possibility at this pleasing, hurting, and imperfect life. Accept it completely and you’ll receive the benefits of abundant existence.
Being a solid person includes being aware of ourselves and how we appear on the planet. If you perceive yourself as a transmitter of toxic positivity, it’s an ideal opportunity to remove it. You’re harming yourself and individuals you care about by demanding this monochromatic outlook. Rather than practicing toxic positivity, focus on balance and the acknowledgment of both great and awful feelings rather than “go big or go home reasoning”.